Ever wonder what Mugabe is on? Have a listen
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Are women really men in women's clothing?
"the beautiful ones first please"
Finally, Water on a burning school!
So after the kids went on a rampage and decided to burn all the schools, after we have all tried to find the problem the kids are going through, the government has come up with a pshycological solution. Fire Extinguishers. then i ask, what about the kids, men, the kids!
Monday, August 18, 2008
Jeffa Coin Again!
http://www.zshare.net/audio/17267362bd9ccb5e/
Check this out! Jeffa Coin Again Doing this breaking News!
The BIggest Question
Do they do a test for weed at the olympics?
because if someone can run 100 meters in 9.6 seconds and he happens to be from Jamaica, he has to be on some really good high class weed!
Attention Kalenjins
This is a note from the Obama camp - Due to the good show at the olympics, Obama is now ready to pick his running mate! Nuff Sed!!!
FRESH BLOOD????
It's Official! The meaning of fresh blood has changed, well, according to the Kenyan Government. Here's why we think so. Ambassadors are being appointed and here's the list
1. Sunkuli - China
2. Anagwe - UK
3. Ojiambo Julia - UNEP envoy
4. Rtd General Geofrey Okunga - Uganda
5. Said Osman - Pakistan
You tell us where the fresh blood is!
Thursday, August 14, 2008
6.1 billion To Sense-Us?
Instead of the government spending 6.1 billion we have devised Overdrive ways to save the money!
1. like back in the day in primary school, the teacher would point at you and you say your number in the class. something like this - "i want to know how many you are, so when i point at you you say a number and the next! so Nick," Nick "teacher 1", marcus "teacher 2", reader "place number here (depending on what number you are in the reading pecking order)"
2. Put a box in Uhuru park for a week where everyone can come drop a piece of paper! Then count the papers.
3. Marcus has good estimation theory! it goes something like this - 1999 - 27 million
2009 - lets see, 100,000 new kids born, 25,000 die, post election violence 700, 16,000 immigrants from somalia, 4 expatriates courtesy of Hon. Kajwang. Mmmmm that puts the population at about 31.4 million.
8-4-4-4-Fools
When was the last time you were with your pal and you were discussing biology. " eeeh, just check this out, this butterfly is giving birth, check it's becoming a pupa, oh, now its a lava!". Guess never! When was the last time you heard of a friend who you were with in the same school whose playing hockey today? 80% of the material in the ciriculum is useless. Do you think a farmer needs to know how many stomachs his cows have. He has a better chance of succeeding if he know how many litres it produces!
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Olympics - Boxer Boxed
Nick is quite disappointed with the kenyan boxers in Beijing! They are being thumped in every game! He feels its is a waste for taxpayers to send them there for them to participate in only one bout! Suggests Nick, Just Stay home. Marcus and I can beat you up for no gold!"
Traditional Rituals
Marcus has new respect for the Bukusu boys turned men seeing as they are smeared with cow-dung and intestines are hung round their neck. It is quite evident that the real ritual is not the Untipping of the foreskin but how long you can endure the smell of cow-dung and matumbo. To Jango's these are nearly house building materials and food!
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Damp Exhausting For Clean Water
So on overdrive we have a problem with the Exhausters aka Honey Suckers which clean up sewer systems for areas out of the Nairobi Sewer grid. These monster trucks are now turning to carry clean water since we are undergoing water rationing! Are they serious!
Nick's 40 days
No! They were not spent on an ark! apparently nick's account has echo's and bats are starting to call it home after he had to settle an issue out of court! He had knocked someone's car 3 months ago and decided to run away when he noticed the it was a cheap car! Siku za mgongaji ni tisini!
Horoscopes! According to Overdrive
Cancer - If you like blowing things up, i.e. a terrorist, you are going to get caught.
Scorpio - Stop what you are doing with the mboch. You will get caught!
Sagittarius - You need to start paying for the 1/8 meat you take on credit from butchery everyday
Virgo - Please stop sending the please call me's. Your phone may get stolen.
Aquarius - To the Bosses! The secretary's going to your wife!
Monday, August 11, 2008
What Did Not Happen - Otis Bar And Grill
Well now that parliament has gone for recess, MP's will be going back to their private business! We caught up with Otis and this is what he does in his spare time.
What Did Not Happen - Documentary
We did a documentary on some of the creatures found in Kenya. Here's How it went!
A New Move called the marcus!
This is when you disappear from work and don't tell anyone! Well, Nick's catching on fast after on friday, Nick pulled a Marcus on Marcus! and it took Marcus 4 hrs to know that he had been Marcus'd! But anyway, here are some of the wedding pics we promised. They are the clean versions of what went on in Enttebbe Kampala!
Olympics - If Prince did it why not us!
Well Prince changed his name severally but the one that really caught on was, the artist formerly known as Prince now known as 'some sign that's not even on the keyboard!' Now theses guys gave this whole naming thing a new meaning! there is a country called - the former Yugosluv republic of Macedonia? Where we say i am from kenya hence am a Kenyan, what do they call themselves?
statistics:
Total population: 2,036,000
Gross national income per capita (PPP international $): 7,610
Life expectancy at birth m/f (years): 71/76
Healthy life expectancy at birth m/f (years, 2003): 62/65
Probability of dying under five (per 1 000 live births): 17
Probability of dying between 15 and 60 years m/f (per 1 000 population): 160/80
Total expenditure on health per capita (Intl $, 2005): 569
Total expenditure on health as % of GDP (2005): 7.8
Scars of Seal
Apprently, ladies find Seal (aka scar face part three) of the kiss from a rose fame, and the scras on his face very sexy! According to Marcus, "then again they are just women!".
Sunday, August 10, 2008
MPs Closing Day- Wanted
Well, as parliament comes to it recess period we are wondering whether it will be like closing day back in primary school! News just in but not confirmed - kimunya has put a 'wanted' on Boni Khaluwale for the grand regency saga! There probably would be a big fight at Uhuru Park and all Mp's cheering on!
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Questionable Survey!
We got our hands on a survey on relationships and porn material. Apparently men are six times more likely to watch porn. Nick shot back by saying that porn material is generally geared towards men. Women are the selling product. Even in gay sites they use women to attract loggers!
But going on, the survey said that men are more likely to be tied up during sex. So we ask, tied up with hand cuffs and ropes or tied up at the office working? we are a bit confused. !
Guess who's back in town
Marcus walked into the studios yesterday, unexpected and much to Nick's delight. So all those who've been hooked on Nick Fm, radio just got better! The bad boys of radio have been reunited to the matrimonial vows!
Yet as marcus tightened his wedding knot, his honeymoon was cut short by one MD. So nick volunteered to pick up the mantle and continue where marcus left of. Let's hope it will be with his wife and not Marcus'!
keep it here for the pic's we getting them soon! we just have to vet them!
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Ramah Nyang On Alvaro!
Well for those of you who thought that News readers are perfect, our very own Rama Nyang, who puts serious in the news, couldn't contain himself as he revealed the clash that is the Alvaro Debate! Check this out!
Topic - Role Play In Marriage
Nick met a pal who's dating a white guy. Now the thing is that the lady has to role play to keep things interesting in the marriage. She has to dress up like a nurse, sometimes like the police, other times sharp as a lawyer and many others. Well do you think this is weird?
Let us know what you think. Post your comments!
How to Save Some Shillings
So the other day we were told the price of milk will have to go up. Now for those of us who have to take cereal, here is a tip - use a fork! That way the milk stays on the bowl and you can still use it to prepare some tea with it. Well If you really have to keep up with your lifestyle!
Link - Hotel Carlifornia Being Sold to Lybians
Apparently Lybians are out to buy Hotel California...Some one please tell him that it is a song! But looking on the bright side, for 1.9 billion they can get the rights to the song. Now that's a deal the eagles can treasure with out fear of censure!
Topic - Are They Good For Marriage?
Yesterday was all about uncovering the film industry bad habits. The porn section of the kenyan film industry has taken the whole country by storm by enough dvd's cd's and tapes being confiscated over the weekend. They are going for 800/- to 2000/-. But Nick decided to ask whether the video's enhance marriage life, i mean if you are going to be with someone for over thirty years, don't you think that you need ideas?
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Best Link - Iraqi Prisoners Tourtured
Yet Again, we managed to make a joke out of life's most serious situations. But hey you can't blame us, check this out!
Best Link - Nick On Chinedu And Akinyi
Ever Wonder What kind of conversation Chinedu and Akinyi Have when they are high speed chasing in the middle of Nairobi. Well We tried it once and it was one of the best links of the show! And You Can Down load it!
Friday, August 1, 2008
Thursday 31st July - Lionel And Lumumba
Nick kicked off the show with a story about Lionel Richie who back in the day wanted to buy his band a couple of benz's. So he walked in to the American equivalent of DT Dobie.
Lionel: I want to buy about 8 Benz's
Manager: Mmmmm, and who are you?
Lionel: Lionel Richie, read on the credit card
Manger: leonel Riki, mmm let me call your bank
Hello, yes, there is a leonel riki here who wants to buy 8 benz's. would you check his limit, mmmm, yes, yes, ooo,kay, mmm. Okay Bye.
(overly excited) Mr. Lionel Richie. How can i help you.
talk about mather-rao!
he Went on to pimp mr Marcus who if you din't know is getting married On the 2th in Uganda. ladies State your claim. you have about 12 hours before the "i do"
The hour ended with him taking a log out of lumumba's eye, seeing that he's going to be the new head of the KNHCR. his link went something like this,
Lumumba - -the almagamation of the protensity of individuals, catastigating insidualsly amongst brethen of thyn folk. psst, ya'll know how i do!
What did not happen decided to take a trip down memory lane to celebrate the return of kikuyu cultural week. we'll send you this soon, if you don't have a copy!!!!
just perambulate around classic 105 overdrive for more.
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