Horoscopes! According to Overdrive

Capricorn - If you Haven't paid your rent, you'll be kicked out today! The land lord lied about giving you two extra weeks!

Cancer - If you like blowing things up, i.e. a terrorist, you are going to get caught.

Scorpio - Stop what you are doing with the mboch. You will get caught!

Sagittarius - You need to start paying for the 1/8 meat you take on credit from butchery everyday

Virgo - Please stop sending the please call me's. Your phone may get stolen.

Aquarius - To the Bosses! The secretary's going to your wife!